Sushant Chaudhary’s World

Last weekend, I had to face someone I never knew ever exists. One I thought could never be in me. But just at right time, it revealed itself onto me. For years I thought I thought its dead, I am in best of me. And very next moment it popped up. Boiling my Blood to a level I have never experienced before.

Well yes I do get “ANGER”, now that I know. Actually I knew it from very early days that I have anger within me, but the level was not yet discovered. I hope, what I experienced over weekend, was its peak. I had the policy, of not getting into an argument, or things are not working the way you want it when you are angry. For the best of things and time, I used to keep quite and let myself cool down. The time lag had been few minutes till now. This was the first time it went over hours.

I had always treated anger as the worst of the qualities you can posses in your life. But then its only time you discover that it’s the only thing that might be required for most of the things to happen like:

1. To show that you care, you need to shout with Anguish.  
2. To show that you need it, you need to show that you Zeal.
3. To show that you disagree, you need to put your Foot Down.
4. To show that things are not right, you need to Fight Back.
5. To make sure that you are not taken for granted, when you are asked you need to Rebel.

Well I have always been a calm and compassionate person. Actually I demonstrate myself to be one. But last Sunday, I literally walked over a conversation which I didn’t agree and shut myself from any kind of communication/conversation for 24 hours. I got my scores leveled for sure.

 But then some part of within me which still says that, “I don’t want to Face-Off myself, with the same.”

Am I the only one to discover it by my own or are others also discovering it. Let me know what you think.

Are you afraid of this Face-off yourself! 

Experience, Thoughts, general

15^th August 2009, Dombivli.

I was very happy to see my chumps back to school after 11 years. On 29 June 1998 we got our SSC mark sheet and there after I guess many of us never turned back to school.

Me and my friend “V” co-ordinate and made  contact with at least 40 people. It wasn’t just making contact but tracing majority of them. An effort put forth was more than a month to trace 40. We still have many like, 70 odd chumps to be traced. And I think we should be there by year end or so. While just talking we decided to go back to school on Independence Day. And all chipped in.

Even though we wanted, effort was huge, as there very many lazy bumps which were needed to be dragged out of bed early on a holiday. Few were too lazy to respond and commit. Many were/are least bothered about school friends. While some were all set to give surprise by being there, only managing to find themselves at home or in bed in dreams the entire day.

With all the glitches pushed to the back of my mind, I was very much excited, too see my school mates. I have spent my very starting days of my life with them. 7 o clock was time to meet. I was at School gate, and was waiting for at least one to turn up and be there, and then walk together inside school.

School was all set preparing for celebration. Rangoli all over, things were very clean, even though its monsoon. The school band was also in early and was rehearsing the march to the flag and salute to the Tricolor Flag.  I was early to school and so were few others.

People started chipping in, there were bear hugs, high five with each person coming in.

Soon we got to make comments how much one has change. School and class room stories were in full swing. We walked inside school. Playground was first we entered and all were happy to take a swing at kho-kho pole. School had not changed much then what we had seen earlier in our schooling days. We had small garden where we used to have our gardening lessons. We walked in to Auditorium. Place where we used to have various cultural functions. Place where we had our share of appreciation and punishment as well. Now we have our group photo there standing in pride and utmost Joy or being together.

Flag hoisting function took place. All people were standing in line as per their classes. With the Swine flu epidemic, not many kids were making it to school. It helped us to take away pride of class with maximum strength present. By now, we were 25 in number.  After function we went inside to our class rooms, Computer labs. “Dekh dekh ye abhi takh hai!”was the cry all heard, and we found attendance check box at the rightmost corner of the board.

It gave details, of Boys (B), girls (G), present (P), Absent (A) and Total (T). Mean while Tea was served to all of us by school. By this time we had made a visit to canteen from school. Canteen has been closed for years now, but PushpaBai  who used to serve us was still there. Many of us still savor the taste of her delicious Pav Bhaji, Vada pav and Chatni sandwiches.

While all my chumps were busy catching each others life’s and current happenings, I walked into a room, which we never wanted to when we were in school. It was principal’s room. Nothing was scary inside. Except for school principal who was sitting in big fat chair. I saw one of the most respected individual of my entire life. Her statue was in marble, ad was very recently painted.

I miss you I said, bowing taking her blessing.

Back in class room, all were busy making acquaintances. Some really found it hard to identify people. There were many people who had changed in physical appearance; some were not able to recollect names correctly. All this was happening and it was all fun. There was a ring.

 RING! RING! RING!

The bell ranged. We used to spend endless hour waiting for the Bell to ring. That day bell rang hours earlier. Each one noticed bell ring. But no one wanted to get out of class. Security stepped in asking us to move out as school was closing. With heavy feet we had to walk out of school.

Miss you, I said. 

 I shall see you very soon. 

 I made a vow. 

 Now I won’t let you off my sight. 

I kept repeating few lines which I wrote a month back,

We want those days back, 

When only book of nursery rhymes in the sack, 

With charts and games on the racks, 

Only singing ba ba sheep black, 

I want to miss those days’ of beating drums,  

When PT was only done for fun, 

Days when boys were always on the run, 

When flirting, the girl’s thing was only done. 

Guy for a girl, girl for a guy,  

Only logic we could apply, 

Making us learn the teachers try, 

Time just went on the fly. 

With marks on the sheet out we go,  

God only knows when we are goanna show, 

Some made a fortune, some were low, 

Name is KIDLAND to which we are going to Bow! 

Experience, Poem 1998 batch, homecoming, reunion, school

This is another Mumbai local chronicle. I don’t know how many notice and ignore. But today, I had to think. It was just a minute we (my regular local train traveling group) has started chanting regular early morning verses in name of all deities, one of ;our co-passengers objected. “Can you please you lower noise (voice), there is a baby sleeping here” he said. We turned and saw a cute baby was napping in arms of its father. Both his parents were on board a gent’s compartment and were also chanting the verses.

We turned to old man and stared at him. We resumed our chanting.

Couple of days back, I was on my way home, when I heard a nice song, from a film “Dosti”. Voice was soothing and original, that very instance I started looking for a beggar in a coach. And found a college kid playing this song on his cell-phone. I came to know, he belonged to that huge category of Chinese mobile users, who think there cell-phone as home theatre system, and entire coach as audience. Song by song in his play list he played, and entire coach was forced to listen. Except for the first song, I thought rest all was noise. But here no one complained. I felt like walking up to him and asking him to use hand free or earphone so that others are not disturbed. Forget me no one did.

Today when I think of that instance, both were nice songs/versus, if you are in public mode of transit. You either respect silence/privacy of other commuters. The songs were un-necessary noise for my eras, and for many others. Is it the same thing that we are doing while enchanting versus.

 We say it’s a voice to reach a god, but for others it’s just a NOISE!

Experience, Mumbai Local bhajan, chinese mobile, Noise

Today we had S. S. C. results out!

A day that came into my life 11 years back, 29 June 1998 was the day for me. I was much happy to know results for Thane regions are best in Mumbai division. I know, what it feels, when you have to see results of your first pressured examination.

I remember when we had our results; our school had to show results of 3 divisions, “A”, “B” and “C”. I hope it’s still followed in some schools. Total was 150 students, 50 in each. Today out of curiosity, I went and saw results online for my school. It showed 100% Passed. Much impressive numbers compared to our batch. I remember we had close to 80% of passing ratio. Then the shocker,

When I saw this:

———————————————————————-        

SCHOOL      NAME  OF  SCHOOL                                    

   REGISTERED      APPEARED         PASSED       PASSED-PERCENTAGE            

  FRESH  REPET.  FRESH   REPET.  FRESH  REPET.  FRESH   REPET.  TOTAL         

———————————————————————- 

    37     00     37      00     37     00    100.00    0.00  100.00   

———————————————————————- 

It said, this year our school have only 37 kids, who appeared for S.S.C. examination. We had five times kids, 11 years back. What went wrong? With new kids are not getting admissions easily. What happened to my school?

It Hurts!

It’s an alarm that we need to look back. At school which has molded us.

Experience, Issues, Views kids, school, SSC result

Shopping, it is so uncharacteristic for men.  But they do shop. Sunday afternoon, I walked out of office to grab a Quick SUB. On my way to SUBWAY, I looked at Crosswords store. A store I used to visit so often. Used to read so many books form there sipping coffee.  Today I thought of doing some window shopping, and stepped in.

Right at entrance, was new arrivals section. A section from where, one starts hunt for books.  As regular, new arrivals section had all new books, then my last visit. None repeated.  This was time I cross checked my wallet for my budget. Wallet screamed no money for books.  Since stepped in, I restrained my self making immediate exit. Also books on self were tempting. I went through shelf by shelf.  Most popular, Crosswords recommends, Fiction, Indian Fiction and so on.  I picked certain book for first time, glancing through cover brief, prologue etc. Each books smelled virgin. A smell that mesmerizes me of  some serene hours I had spent with books. Each book was retaliating, as I placed them back on shelf.

I walked past Classics sections. A section which I thought should never be touched. But between my last visit and now, things were changed. I had a noesis influence of living and writings a Century back. I wanted to understand what was causing this noetic behavior. Seemed I was most influenced by movies like “Kate and Leopold” and “Ever After” (Cinderella story). I started browsing though books. Shelf had, classics, something was strange. I could find out a same book, with three different publishers, being placed on shelf, had never seen it before.

Classics section had following books,

1. A TALE OF TWO CITIES                                by      Charles Dickens
2. ADAM BEDE                                                   by      George Eliot
3. ALICE’S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND  by      Lewis Carroll
4. ANNA KARENINA                                           by      Leo Tolstoy
5. GULLIVER’S TRAVELS                                   by      Jonathan Swift

I walked to attendant on floor of shop, which I know from 2 years now and asked him, “How did it ever happen, book, with 3 publishers and on same shelf”. He brought all 3 copies to me explain. He said all 3 books have same story, Word by word. Only thing that matter was number of pages, font, Quality of pages, Quality of print, and covering. Hence, same book, same story was priced differently by each publisher. I could not believe that prices varied from Rs. 325/- to Rs. 80/- for same book.

In between something happened, I decided to cash on opportunity. I grabbed 4 classics, with minimalist cost and raced to counter.  Paid for it, with Credit Card, and was happy. As I walking out of store, started analyzing, what had changed. I was determined to buy a book. I still grabbed four of them. And I was happy. And to little or say 1%, I understand, why our counter parts never return home empty handed. Why are there shopping bags always full?

Experience, Thoughts, general books, Price, publication house, shopping